Chemo Round 5

The neuropathy pain has been serious for about two weeks. 
Without much relief from new medications.

Last week, out of frustration I called a meeting with my Oncologist asking if we could change up the chemo medications. I told him the pain is unreal and I know this is worse because of my MS.

Dr. Peacock had to get real with me.
"All these Chemo drugs will cause neuropathy," he said. 
"Changing the medicine won't matter. You are on the best drugs you can be on for HER2 +" He told me.

"I need six more weeks to save your life." "We want you to have the next 50 years. I need you to focus on that when the pain is unbearable," he explained. 

It got real for me. This is as serious as life and death. I have to push through it. 

Today was my 5th round and I know what is coming my way the next few days. I'm scared. I'm sick of it and ready for it to be over. But I also know the double mastectomy is going to be a whole other world of pain.

I have to take it day by day and meditate, pray, and focus on the end game. Being here for my kids. Being an Advocate for my Son and MS, Breast cancer patients in the future. 

On a more positive note. I'm getting ready to decorate for Christmas. The kids and AJ had a blast decorating a new skinny flocked white tree I got from Hobby Lobby. 

I'm really getting into the spirit because Chemo finishes Dec. 5th and then I have weeks to rest up to enjoy Christmas. My favorite holiday. I'm seeing this and other holidays in a new perspective. 
You really don't know when it will be your last- So make it amazing!!

I'm ready to start living my life again and get out and show my kids the world. 

My mom and Aunt - along with AJ and the kids came to the craft show fundraiser. Although I didn't meet my goal. It didn't matter. I felt proud for them to see what I was able to put together and pull off.
I also had compliments from vendors for keeping communication open the entire time up until the show. It made me feel good. Like I had a purpose again - Something besides "healing" and "being a mom and wife"

I want to thank everyone for coming out and coming together for it! Old Co-workers and new friends. It was so touching. 
I'm ready for another one in Spring.

Thank you again for all the prayers and messages. 

People often forget about you in the middle of treatment.
The cards, messages, meals stop. 
A close friend offered me this advice:
"People are there in the start and in the end. So you must find the strength in the middle."

There also will be people in denial who won't even reach out to check on you.

My Brestie and I had a deep convo about this today. Because those situations can give you anger and you see a person's true colors.

​You have to be strong and ask God for peace in your heart. Find a way to forgive them.